What to know about pet loss and grief

We love our pets. Over the span of their lives, we build deep emotional connections with companion animals and the effects of that bond continue their legacy long after they leave us.

It’s no surprise to us that in a 2023 study conducted by Pew Research Center, 97% of U.S. pet owners surveyed said they considered their pets a part of their family, and 51% stated their pet is as much a part of their family as humans.

Here are some things to consider if you are grieving the loss of a beloved pet.

• Take your time There is no one way to grieve, but time helps us process our emotions and go through the five stages of grief
  
• Check in with your family members Everyone, including other pets in the house, will be impacted by the loss of a companion animal.
  Make sure all family members have the support they need through the transition to help everyone cope with the changes in your family.
  
• Write them a letter or obituary “After my dog of over 10 years passed away, ” Humane Colorado team member, Alex, tells us, “I wrote him a letter. It may sound silly, but it was cathartic. His death was sudden, and I had a few more ”Good boys’ to tell him. I wanted him to know I missed him, that he was loved, and to remember all his hilarious antics over the course of our time together.”
  
• Make an “in memory” donation to the animal shelter you adopted your pet from. It’s the place where your story began. Donations help local animal shelters and pet rescue groups continue their life-saving and bond building work. Did you adopt from Humane Colorado? Learn about our memorial options.
  
• Join a support group While we all grieve in different ways, support groups offer companionship in difficult times, space to talk about your experience with your pet, and a sense of belonging in what can be a lonely time. Our pet loss resource center has a list of cat or dog grief support groups, books and other pet loss and grief support resources to help you.
  
• Make a memorial Honoring the life of your pet with a DIY memorial in your garden, a pet memorial gift, or giving them a final resting place can help you in your grief journey.
  
• Volunteer or foster at an animal shelter near you If you find yourself isolating more or lack a sense of purpose without your pet to get you out of the house, volunteering with an animal shelter or fostering an animal can be a fulfilling way to get yourself back out there while caring for animals in need with some mutual TLC. Learn more about volunteer opportunities at Humane Colorado.
  
• Remember to care for yourself. Treat yourself like you treated your beloved pets by maintaining elements of your routine such as morning walks or weekly hikes. Replace trips to the pet groomers with a massage or fresh haircut.
  Remember to give yourself grace because grief doesn’t have a timeline. If you can, use your PTO on the hardest days.
  
• Tell your pet’s story Former adopters write to us to express gratitude, often sharing how the loss of their pet impacted them more than the loss of a friend of family member. Sharing your unique bond with others, even strangers on the internet, can help you and others experiencing similar losses. Talking to a friend, family member, or therapist about your more vulnerable emotions after your pet passes can also help you process what you’re experiencing.

Greiving a pet after euthanasia

It is one of the hardest decisions you may ever have to make, but when your pet is old, sick or suffering, it is usually the compassionate one.

If you find yourself wondering if you made the right decision, remember it came from a place of unconditional love, not made lightly, to reduce your friend’s suffering.

You made their life worth living.

How soon is too soon for a new pet?

Only you can answer this question, but we can provide some guidance.

What may take a short period of time for some people takes years for others – as we mentioned it is important to take the time you need. Here are some things to help you determine if you are ready to adopt.

• Make sure you and your family members have come to terms with the loss of your pet. Building a bond with a new pet may feel challenging if you and other members of your household have not processed the loss.
  
• If everyone is ready to take on a new pet, identify the qualities and characteristics you would like to see in your next pet.
  
• Acknowledge there will be an adjustment period. Just like losing a pet requires an adjustment period, so will welcoming a new pet into your home. If you have other animals, you will need to consider introductory techniques, your time commitment, and the responsibilities involved with getting a new pet into a routine.